[Children Chattering]
[Woman Narratlng] People have always trusted me wlth thelr secrets.
But who do I trust wlth mlne?
You. Only you.
The first day of a new term.
Here come the local pubescent proles...
the future plumbers and shop asslstants...
and doubtless the odd terrorlst too.
[Shoutlng, Chatterlng]
In the old days, we confiscated clgarettes and wank mags.
Now It's knlves and crack cocalne.
And they call It progress.
[Boy] Roger!
- [Boy] Plss off! - Tony. Tony.
Mrs. Hart, art department.
1517, Martin Luther nails his 95 points...
to a church door in Wittenberg—
[School Bell Rlngs]
[Glrl] Polson granny.
Piss off, you prick.
Before we begln, for those of you who haven't dellvered your reports...
please lob them in my general direction.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Mary.
Thank you, John. Thank you, Elaine.
Ah. Has everyone met our new art teacher, Sheba Hart?
- Hello. - I've asked Sheba to slt In on thls meetlng.
As you all know, I regard the arts...
as absolutely essentlal to our pollcy of reform through nurture.
Thank you, Chrls.
Very good. Very good. Ah, thank you, Sue.
I say, that's a big one, isn't it?
I'll be up till the crack of dawn. [Chuckles]
Anyone else not handed in their homework? Right.
And, uh, thank you.
Lovely. Thank you.
Barbara?
This is your report? On the history department?
On its entire workings?
And your general thoughts for lts future development?
You'll find it's quite thorough, Headmaster.
"The hlstory department functlons much as one would expect...
"for a school of this stature and intake.
"Examlnatlon results have been conslstent for 30 years...
"below the national average but above the level of catastrophe.
Recommendatlon: No change necessary."
Took me most of the summer to write it.
[Barbara Narratlng] Hard to read the wlspy novlce.
[Boy] Piss off, you prick.
Is she a sphlnx or slmply stupld?
All rlght. Off the phone, please. Glve me the phone.
- Artfully dlsheveled today. - [Chattering Continues]
The tweedy tramp coat Is an abhorrence.
It seems to say, "I'm just llke you."
But clearly she's not.
- A fey person, I suspect. - Stop it, girls. Just stop it.
Fey.
[Boy] OI, ol. Pass lt. Yes. Come over here. Very good.
- Yeah! - [Chattering]
- [Barbara] Put your shlrt on. - I got the winner, miss.
Glory be! Shirt!
[Boys Chatterlng]
[Barbara Narratlng] She has certalnly rlppled the waters of our stagnant pond.
They flock to her.
Even llmp llttle Brlan had a go.
Oh, the horror.
- Hiya. - Oh, hello.
- That's a lovely blouse. - What? Oh!
[Barbara Narratlng] And "Fatty"Hodge has pounced on her.
A dublous double act.
The blonde and the plg In knlckers.
I just went past the art studio. It's like bloody Lord of the Flles in there.
- Have they gone for her? - They've torn her posters down. There's a full-on paint fight.
They're chanting, "Get your tits out for the lads."
- Glrls too. It's carnage. - [Man] How was madam?
Completely lost it. "Stop it! Stop it, you little fucking bastards!"
- You should have stepped in. - Well, he didn't want to patronize the little lady.
She'll be all rlght. Thls tlme next year, she'll be headmlstress.
- Oh, Christ! Will you shut up! - Sorry. Sorry.
Char, anyone?
- Babs? - Milk, no sugar.
- Sweet enough? - Evidently.
- [Chuckles] - Didn't her father invent inflation?
- You what? - Wasn't her dad that academic, Donald whatsit?
Economlcs bloke. Invented the word "Inflatlon."
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know who you mean.
I think you'll find that Mrs. Hart's father was Professor Ronald Taylor.
He didn't invent "inflation."
He devised a theory about the relationship...
between inflation and consumer expectation.
[Chatterlng]
[Sheba] Please get offhlm! Stop lt!
[Boy] You're an arsehole!
[Sheba] Stop lt!
[Students Chantlng] Flght! Flght! Flght! Flght!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- [Chantlng Contlnues] - [Sheba Shouting, Indistinct]
You're golng to hurt one another. Now stop lt! Please get offhlm!
- [Shouting Continues] - Enough! Outside!
Now!
[Boys Chatterlng]
- [Boys Laughlng] - [Boy] You're a wanker.
- Fuck off! - [Barbara] Absolute sllence! Absolute!
Why were they fighting, Mrs. Hart?
Their motive was unclear.
Davls I know. You're a llttle thug. Who mlght you be?
- Steven Connolly, mlss. - What?
- Steven Connolly, miss. - Year?
Year 10, miss.
You're the naked footballer. Why were you fighting?
- It's a perfectly slmple questlon. - Don't know, miss.
You don't know. One minute you're an inert lump...
the next you're trying to castrate a fellow pupil.
Nothlng occurred between these two states?
- No, miss. - Don't play the hero with me, Connolly.
Yes. Braln. Mouth. Speak.
He was saying stuff about miss. It was bang out of order.
- What did you say? - I never said nothin', miss.
"I dldn't say anythlng." What dld he say? Come on!
He said she's a tart.
He sald he gave her one up the arse.
Did you, indeed? Odious boy.
- Apologize at once. - Sorry, miss.
Deputy head In the mornlng. Get back Inslde, both of you.
Llttle towers of testosterone. You'll soon get used to them.
Thank you so much.
I better— Oh, I'm sorry. We haven't met properly, have we?
- I'm Sheba Hart. - Barbara Covett.
[Nervous Chuckling]
[Barbara Narratlng] Her volce Is pure...
as lfher mouth were empty and clean...
as If she'd never had a filllng.
The complexlon of a whlte peach.
One can almost see her velns.
Her trendy polltlcs are slmllarly transparent.
We serve them best if we teach them to read, write and add.
They don't need to know about the basket weavers of Chile.
- Barbara's very keen on the basics. - But when you started...
I mean, didn't you want to give them a real education...
to help them overcome the poverty of their backgrounds?
Oh, yes, of course.
But one soon learns that teaching is crowd control.
Come here!
We're a branch of the social services.
Put that back, you!
[Indistinct Shouting]
Console yourself with the gems. That's when it's satisfying.
Then you can make a real difference.
The rest is just cattle prod and pray.
[Barbara Narratlng] I can see why others are begulled by her.
Oh, hello.
But I wonder If she possesses the requlslte heft.
- Do you fancy a coffee? - Yeah.
- [Woman] Sheba! - [Phone Beeping]
- Sorry. L— - That's the year 11 s. They're a nightmare.
- Sue, do you want to join us? Just going for a quick coffee. - Great.
Um— [Clears Throat] I've got a bit of an announcement.
You're leaving St. George's?
- No. - Oh, you're pregnant.
That's fantastic.
Oh, congratulations. When are you due?
- June the 7th. - A summer baby. How lovely.
I can't believe that nobody's noticed. I'm 14 weeks.
- Oh. - Didn't you see how chunky I'm getting?
Didn't like to say. Where are you having it?
- Homerton. It's really nice there. - [Sheba] Oh, rlght.
Lovely, friendly nurses.
I'm going to find out at the next scan— 20 weeks.
Do you want to come to lunch on Sunday?
- Where? - To mine. To our house.
- Won't you be with your family? - Yes, but you're very welcome.
Oh, it's no big deal. I'll just do a lasagna or something.
I adore lasagna.
[Barbara Narratlng] Bllss. A merry flag...
on the arctlc wllderness of my calendar.
One must make an effort when one recelves an Invltatlon.
The art of It Is seemlng not to.
Lasagna tends to dlsagree wlth my bowels.
I'll ask for a small portlon.
- Oh, I think I've got the wrong house. - No. You're bang on.
- I'm Rlchard. Come In. - Oh.
I'm sorry. I thought—
- That I'd be 20 years younger and twice as handsome. - [Door Closes]
- Bash! - [Sheba] The kltchen's on fire!
Sorry if you were out there long. The, uh—The bell's knackered.
- Hi, Barbara. - Hello.
Oh, what a splendid room.
What can I get you? We're, uh— We're semi-pro drinkers here. You name it.
[Barbara] I would llke a dry sherry, please.
Ah. Uh, I think we might have some apricot brandy knocking around.
- Uh, dry white wine. - Done. Have a seat.
- [Rlchard] Where's the, uh, wlne? - [Sheba Speaks, Indlstlnct]
[Rlchard] Well, scrape lt. Do you want to— For a moment. Is It In the frldge?
You must be Polly. I'm Barbara.
Hi, Barbara.
[Clatterlng]
[Polly] Are you golng somewhere?
- Excuse me? - You're all poshed up.
Oh. Uh, I have an appointment.
Uh, later. In town.
[Dog Barklng]
- Have you always lived here? - Mum inherited it.
- It's her llttlejoke. - I only married her for the property. Morning.
- Did Pete go? - [Polly] Mmm.
He was welcome to stay.
He's not really into lunch.
Cheers.
Mmm. Are you interested in wine?
Only the drlnklng part.
- You? - Well, I spent a portion of the summer on the Amalfi coast—
- [Shoutlng] - Here's trouble.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Easy! Rocky! Easy!
Easy, easy, wheezy.
[Barbara Narratlng] I'd antlclpated a suave young lawyer—
- [Rlchard] Barbara? - And two perfect poppets.
- Not so. - [Rlchard] Mmm, mmm, mmm.
She's marrled some crumbllng patrlarch.
- He's nearly as old as me. - Ooh! Ah, ah.
And then there's the daughter, a pocket prlncess.
And, finally, a somewhat tlresome courtjester.
[Rlchard] Ah, lovely. Thank you.
I'm golng to be a wlzard.
Oh. Is that when you're grown up?
No. He's just been cast in his school play.
- [Boy] I'm gonna wear a cape. - Oh.
- I'm the one with the car. - [Rlchard] Amongst next year's cultural hlghllghts...
I greatly look forward to Benjamln Hart...
in the key role of the wizard.
And, indeed, I find myself beside myself with anticipation.
[Barbara Narratlng] A rogue lmage swam through me:
Hubby's pruney old mouth pursed at Sheba's breast.
?? [Reggae]
[Barbara Narratlng] After lunch, a rather mortlfylng famlly tradltlon.
They do thlngs dlfferently In bourgeols bohemla.
?? [Reggae Contlnues]
?? [Man Slnglng]
Oh. Thank you.
?? [Contlnues, Indlstlnct]
Come on. Come on. Come on.
No.
?? [Man Vocallzlng]
[Phone Ringing]
?? [Vocallzlng Contlnues]
- Ooh! - ?? [Contlnues, Ends]
- You ready? - Watch out.
- Yes! - Oh.
[Sheba] Took me away for our annlversary. It was years ago.
- When we came back, It was here. - [Gasps]
- As if by magic. - [Ben Mutterlng]
Oh.
Was supposed to be my studlo.
It's more of a refuge, really.
A room of one's own.
[Sighs] Is this you?
- [Chatterlng] - [Sheba] Mmm.
It was.
Oh, I love these. Such vibrant colors.
Take one. Take two. Have the lot, actually.
- I couldn't possibly. - Honestly, no one else wants them.
Oh, I'll treasure them.
Must be exhausting— running a family and teaching as well.
Oh, I can't wait for term to end.
Roll on, Christmas, and a month of sod-all.
I shouldn't have kidded myself I could teach.
It's just that l— I've spent the last 10 years looking after Ben...
and I'm so desperate to get out and do something.
And finally we get him into this great local school, and I'm free to work, and—
You're gonna be a terrific teacher.
Thanks.
But I'm bloody hopeless, and everyone knows it.
Chlldren are feral.
Don't let them sense your anxiety.
- How do you cope? - Oh, I'm just a battle-ax.
I'm not popular, but they respect me.
Well, you're popular with me.
It's strange. I feel I can talk to you.
[Barbara Narratlng] She spoke ofher vlle mother...
her grlef over the death ofher father...
the glory days when Rlchard scooped her up...
and then jettlsoned wlfe and chlldren...
for what she called a nonstop fuck fest.
It's a pecullar tralt of the prlvlleged:
Lmmedlate, Incautlous Intlmacy.
But Sheba went well beyond the tendencles ofher class.
She was utterly candld.
A novlce confesslng to the mother superlor.
You know, marriage and kids— I mean, it's wonderful.
But It doesn't glve you meanlng.
It gives you an imperative, but it doesn't help you—
My father always used to say— you know, on the tube— "Mind the gap."
- Uh— - Oh, I don't know.
It's just the distance between life as you...
dream it and...
life as it is.
I know exactly what you mean.
[Barbara Narratlng] A gold star day.
I always knew we'd be frlends.
Our mutual reserve Inhlblted us...
but now It Is manlfest— a splrltual recognltlon.
[Man] At the end of thls year, many of you wlll enjoy Chrlstmas.
[Barbara Narratlng] "S"and I share the ablllty...
to see through the quotldlan awfulness of thlngs.
[Continues, Indistinct]
In a dlfferent, better age, we would be ladles oflelsure...
lunchlng together, vlsltlng gallerles, travellng...
puttlng the world to rlghts.
We would be companlons.
[Rhythmlc Clapplng]
## [Singing Christmas Hymn]
- It's taken. I'm saving it for Sheba. - ?? [Contlnues]
- Sorry. - ?? [Contlnues]
- ?? [Clapplng Contlnues] - [Whispering]
?? [Students Contlnue Slnglng]
[Cheering]
Very good! Well done!
?? [Boys Slnglng Chrlstmas Hymn]
?? [Contlnues]
## [Ends]
[Students Chatterlng]
Ben, put it in the car, would you, please?
- [Cell Phone Rlnglng] - Ben, pop it in the car, sweetheart. Hello?
I need to speak to you about Steven Connolly.
Who?
Let's not, shall we?
Doubtless you're aware you've committed a criminal offense.
I'll be with you at 5:00.
[Knocks]
Let's go to the pub, okay?
- [Man] No, Boxlng Day— - When-When will you tell them?
I need to know the circumstances.
You must inform me of everything.
Actually, you were there when I first saw him.
- I thlnk you gave hlm a telllng-off. - Yeah!
[Barbara] I gave hlm a sllght tlcklng off.
[Sheba] He dedlcated hls goal to me.
It amused me. Nothing more.
A few days later, he came to see me.
Miss, would you have a look at me drawings, please?
I'll look at them in class. You do art, don't you?
I'm not allowed. I'm special needs.
I gotta do extra reading instead.
Did you do these at home?
These are good. You can draw.
If we pull strlngs for one chlld...
the whole system will unravel.
But he's talented. He's actually found something he believes in.
Well, they're all talented.
You found your gem, as Sue would say.
I said that I would teach him after school, but only if he felt like it.
It's our job, isn't it?
Within specified hours and a specified curriculum.
Barbara, he came every day for two weeks.
Yes, I was flattered, but— and more than that.
I was exclted to find someone who wanted to learn.
And he imagined a sort of helicopter 500 years ago.
Does your brain in.
[Barbara] But surely you must have suspected hls motlves.
I sensed he had a llttle crush on me.
But so what? And it was innocent.
That's so much better. You've absolutely got that knuckle.
Nailed it.
Do that again, miss.
Don't be silly. Off you go.
What are you havlng for tea, mlss?
I don't know. Probably buy something on the way home.
- Are you a good cook? - Not really.
You suck?
Go home, Steven.
Well, that's when you should've stopped it.
I did. I told him I wouldn't teach him anymore.
He refused to accept it. He just kept coming back.
- Miss! - [Students Chatterlng]
[Sheba] It began to feel llke our secret...
and secrets can be... seductlve.
- Do you want to come for a walk? - Absolutely not.
I'm going home to my family, as should you.
Miss.
My dad's got the sack. He's been taking it out on me.
[Sheba] Hls father had been hlttlng hlm.
- He dldn't want to tell hls mum because she was III. - Does your mother know?
Kldney dlsease.
It's taken months for an operation.
He was so vulnerable.
Well, if he does it again, you tell me.
Thanks, miss.
You're beautiful, miss.
You don't know how beautiful you are.
[Sheba] I hadn't been pursued llke thls for years.
I knew It was wrong and lmmoral and completely rldlculous...
but I don't know.
I just allowed It to happen.
The boy is 15!
But he's quite mature for his age.
"But" is not a helpful word here.
This is gonna sound sick.
But something in me felt... entitled.
You know, I've been good all my adult llfe.
I've been a decent wife, dutiful mother, coping with Ben.
Thls volce Inslde me kept saylng...
"Why shouldn't you be bad? Why shouldn't you transgress?
You've earned the rlght."
I said get out, Denzel. The rest of you get on with your work, please.
- [Students Shoutlng] - Hurry up.
[Boy] Stlll, I wouldn't mlnd belng wlngman.
[Boy #2] That's a shame. 'Cause you are as ugly as wank...
and you're never gonna be able to do shlt.
[TV, Indlstlnct]
[Ben Laughlng]
[Both Laughing]
Sue phoned. Okay if I meet her for a drink?
Sure. I'll put bug-a-lugs to bed.
[Steven] Evenlng, mlss.
[Traln Passlng Overhead]
Make yourself comfortable.
It's incredibly important we keep this secret.
Does anyone know you're here?
No.
- [Shudders] - Miss. Miss.
I'm no genius, but I ain't a dickhead.
I won't tell no one.
You can trust me.
We'd both get into terrible trouble.
[Traln Passlng]
It was easy.
Like having another drink when you know you shouldn't.
Can I smoke, miss?
You can do what you want, but enough of this "miss."
[Sighs]
Were you a model once?
Well, you should have been. You're well fit.
Gosh, but don't I know it.
You're into the Streets?
Oh, well, my daughter is.
She the same age as me?
None of your beeswax.
Well, anyway, the point is you're fit.
- Well, so are you. - You reckon?
My sister thinks I look like a bollock with measles.
You've done my brain in.
[Laughs]
[Sighs]
[Traln Passlng]
You want to do it again?
[Laughing]
- What? - [Mutters]
Yes. I want to do it again.
[Traln Passlng]
I want to do it again.
The day we met, it had already begun?
Yes.
Deputy head in the morning.
Noble sentiment, Connolly. Next time words, not fists.
Get inside, both of you.
[Barbara] And you had further relatlons that day?
We went to the art room.
Well, I'm glad I was such an aphrodisiac. I was trying to help you.
Well, you did. I'm incredibly grateful.
You've been such a good friend.
Not reciprocated, it seems.
I desperately wanted to confess to you.
But how could I?
Barbara?
It would have put you in an impossible situation.
I so wish I had.
You would have made me see sense.
[Barbara Narratlng] And then I reallzed my fury had bllnded me.
There was a magnlficent opportunlty here.
Can we go inside? I'm absolutely freezing.
Wlth stealth, I mlght secure the prlze...
long-term, forever In my debt.
I could galn everythlng...
by dolng nothlng.
Look, Bar...
I know you have to tell them.
You know, the head, the, uh, school.
All I ask is that you wait till the new year.
Please. I'm begging you.
Please let me have this Christmas with my family.
Oh, you poor thing.
You've got yourself into a state.
I'm not going to report you. I want to help you...
to support you through this.
You're not— not going to tell?
You won't tell anyone?
Who would it benefit? Not you or the boy.
Certainly not the school. No, this is a private matter.
We must keep it so.
Yes.
Maybe I should resign.
Oh, no. No, that might alert suspicion.
No, you must stay at the school, but the affair must end.
Your solemn promise.
I can't help you if you don't promise.
I promise.
So you'll tell him straight after Christmas?
- It's all for the best. - I know.
Thank you so much. You've been so brilliant.
And you'll tell me when it's done?
Oh, you never said.
[Barbara] Standard Issue for splnsters.
Actually, she's been off her food recently. I've been a bit worried about her.
There's a terrific vet up the road. He was great with Ben's rabbit.
Got many people coming tomorrow?
Mmm. My lot. Richard's lot, including first wife.
Oh. And your mother?
- Oh, yes. - Well, happy Christmas.
Yeah, you too. Thank you so much.
Courage, mon brave.
[Barbara Narratlng] And bon voyage to her llttle leprechaun.
[Engine Starts]
Sheba and I share a deep understandlng now.
No one can vlolate our magnlficent compllclty.
No, no, no! Wait till tomorrow!
Stop. [Laughs]
You've been gone ages.
Oh, Barbara was a lit— Oh, some school thing.
- How's his nibs? - Oh, still awake.
He's madly excited. I said he could stay up for you.
And Polly?
Depressed.
- Oh. - Uh, Pete phoned.
They had a row, and he's not coming tomorrow.
Do you think he's bad news?
Well, these older men can be very dodgy.
[Chuckles]
[Knocklng]
[Polly] Dld Daddy tell you?
He's gonna bin me. I know it.
You're very lovely, darling. He's clever enough to appreciate it.
[Sobbing] I'm fat as fuck, Mum.
He'll be back.
I can't live without him.
Oh.
[Barbara Narratlng] Her fetlsh for the boy was slmply her snobbery manlfested.
He's worklng-class, and he llkes art.
As lfhe were a monkey whojust strolled out of the raln forest...
and asked for a gln and tonlc.
?? [Plano]
Have you heard from that friend of yours, Barbara?
Bar? Wakey-wakey.
Lorraine was asking if you'd heard from that nice friend of yours.
- Who? - Jennifer Dodd.
Oh. She left the school.
She's teaching in a primary at Stoke.
There's a chap, apparently. I heard they're engaged.
But it's true. It would be insane, wouldn't it?
It's the most ridiculous possible time for him to be selling.
Well, that's what I said. I said that.
He should give me a ring. It's absolute madness for him.
- There you are, darling. - Well, I am happy to glve— I am happy to speak to hlm.
I'm none of the kind. I'm nothing of the kind.
Darling? Can we have gravy, darling?
Darling, there's no gravy.
[Chatterlng Contlnues]
[Cell Phone Beeplng]
[Rlchard Shouts]
[Chattering Continues]
[Rlchard] It's taklng half an hour to explaln the whole thlng.
[Chatterlng Contlnues]
[Woman] Ever slnce Ronald dled, she's drlfted Inexorably.
You see, her father was an exceptlonal man.
Exceptional.
Bathsheba's a loner, I'm afrald.
She's beautlful, thank God, and It's got her through...
- but it's not quite the same as possessing substance. - [Woman] Mm-hmm.
[Steven] Happy Chrlstmas.
What are you dolng here? Everyone's Inslde.
Aren't you gonna open it?
Oh.
It's— It's made of real fake gold.
Thank you.
What's up? I haven't heard from you.
I can't see you anymore.
I'm sorry. L—
I just can't. It's over.
- [Door Opens] - Why?
Bash? Bash?
She's not here.
- [Door Closes] - Was that your dad?
No. It was an uncle.
Do you wanna end it?
Please don't look at me like that.
- Have you gone off me? - No.
You should go. Please don't make—
Just go.
[Chatterlng]
She gave you what?
- [Chuckles] What color are they? - Is it Pete?
Whlte?
[Chatterlng Contlnues, Indlstlnct]
[Sobbing]
[Sobbing Continues]
[Barbara Narratlng] I long to phone "S,"but It's late.
Poor glrl. All alone wlth her awful famlly.
Our llves are acutely slmllar In so many respects.
[Knocklng]
[Woman] Sls?
Oh. Writing the old diary?
I can't imagine how you keep at it.
[Laughs] I'd have nothing to say.
- [Cat Mews] - Oh.
Hello.
You know, you're welcome whenever you want.
Not just once a year.
It's just that I'm rather busy at the moment.
Your racy London life. [Laughs]
Well, I'm glad it's so full.
I'm sorry aboutJennifer. She was lovely.
Is there anyone else? Someone else who's special?
I don't know what you mean.
I didn't— I didn't mean to pry.
- [Traln Passlng] - [Moaning]
Belated Christmas present.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, my word! Asprey.
- [Sighs] - How is she?
You are the most wonderful friend.
Any good?
It's a masterpiece.
Don't they teach you anything?
We used to worship her.
?? [Woman Slnglng, Indlstlnct]
- Take It off. - What's it for?
Just take it off, please. I'm-I'm still making it.
Yeah, but why?
Lt-lt's for my son.
- But he's 12, isn't he? - He's got Down syndrome.
?? [Contlnues, Indlstlnct]
You never said.
Right.
Sorry.
- [Cat Retchlng] - Oh!
Oh!
[Man] I'm sure she's had a very happy life.
Oh, yes. She has. Thank you.
We could make her feel more comfortable for the next few weeks...
but It wlll be weeks rather than months.
You've had a terrible shock.
Where's Richard? I don't want to disturb your weekend.
It's fine. Everyone's out.
[Cell Phone Rlnglng]
[Ringing Stops]
Can they treat her?
He says it's just a matter of weeks.
[Sobbing] She's only a pet.
Oh, no! I cried for weeks when our dog died. Weeks.
One does get so attached.
[Sighs]
I should leave you in peace.
Yeah.
I like that top. It suits you.
- Oh, thanks. - [Cell Phone Beeplng]
When I was at school...
if one of us had had some bad news or was a bit down...
we used to stroke each other.
You know, someone would do one arm and someone else the other.
It's a wonderful sensation. Did you do that at your school?
No.
It's incredibly relaxing.
For the glver and the recelver.
- Close your eyes. No, no, really. - Oh—
It doesn't work if you don't.
[Sighs]
- There's a good girl. - I think that's enough.
- No. Close your eyes. - No. I really think that's enough, Barbara.
There's someone in your garden! He came over the wall.
Oh, It's probablyjust the nelghbor's boy, lost hls football.
No, he's golng Into the summerhouse. Qulck! Call the pollce!
- It's just a kid from next door, Barbara. Forget it. - [Cell Phone Ringing]
[Steven] Where are you? I've been dreaming about your hot, sweet cunt all morning.
Hello?
Richard's on his way home. No, I can't. No, I can't. I'll call you.
Barbara! Barbara, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Oh, I'm so sorry. Bar, please.
I tried to end it, honestly. I just couldn't.
I risked everything for you! And in return, you humiliate me!
No, I didn't mean to upset you, Bar. Please. I need your help more than ever.
- Please don't go like this. - You promised to end it. Why didn't you?
- Because l— - What? You're in love?
And the chlld? Do you lmaglne he reclprocates your soppy feellngs?
Oh, I daresay he's fascinated by the neurotic compulsions...
of a middle-class lady with marital problems.
- Bar— - There's nothing crueler than the adolescent boy.
I know them. Once he's had his fill, he'll discard you like an old rag.
You're not young!
I say this to help you. End it now.
- Yeah. I'm thinking. - Don't think. Do.
Do, do, do, do!
Or shall I just sit here doing my nails till your husband returns?
- No, no. Please. Please. I'll do it. - What are you waltlng for?
[Slren Walllng]
[Bell Rlngs]
Mr. Connolly. I'm Mrs. Hart.
From St. George's. Steven's not in trouble.
I just need to talk to hlm about an art project—
- Oh, yeah. Come in. Come in. - Thank you.
It's just upstairs there.
It's very good of you to glve hlm the extra lessons.
It's the first door on the left. It's probably best to knock.
[Steven, Indlstlnct]
So that's your vlclous father?
You wanted a sob story. I gave it to you.
- Made you feel like Bob Geldof. - You lied to me!
Ooh, sorry, miss. What? Do you prefer it if I live in a shithole?
- And your mother? - I think she's gonna pull through.
What do you want? What are you doing here?
They're gonna expel me now!
No, they won't. I'll get the blame if she tells.
As if she won't.
She likes me. She might not.
Likes you how? Like that? You giving her one and all?
Why are you being so cruel? Why, Steven?
I really like you. You're a nice person.
And you've been cool, and it's been great. Okay?
But it was supposed to be fun, and now it's a serious thing.
Whatever shit you're working out—
you know, your husband, your kid, you—
I don't know. I can't help you.
[Traln Passlng]
- Oh. - [Sobbing]
[Barbara Narratlng] As my mother would have sald, the boy done her llke a klpper.
She has nowhere to turn but trusty old Bar.
She mopes and mourns for her pubescent paramour...
but she knows my Interventlons have saved her llfe.
- And she Is sweetly grateful. - [School Bell Rlngs]
Her betrayal hurt me more than I dare show.
But I wlll forglve her and heal myself In prlvate.
She's worth lt, thls one.
She's the one I've walted for.
She's beglnnlng to understand that her dalllance wlth Master Connolly...
was a consequence ofher dead marrlage.
It's a sham, fueled only by the memory of former glorles.
I mean, the wonderful thing about Polly—
Whereas we are golng through the fire...
forglng our frlendshlp wlth a stronger bond each day.
In fact, we are now enterlng...
a dellcate new phase.
We are sllently and stealthlly...
negotlatlng the terms of a llfe llved together.
- [Laughing] - Now more than ever...
we are bound by the secrets we share.
- [Muttering] - [Laughing]
I'm Invlted to drop In on them thls summer...
at thelr house In the Dordogne.
I mlghtjust do that.
I once sat here discussing Elgar for three hours.
- God. Who with? - Oh, just a friend.
Jennifer. This was our haunt.
We were quite chummy for a while, but...
poor thing, she suffered from a terrible depression.
- Oh. - I tried to help, but she rather unraveled.
She became alarmingly deluded.
Did she go to hospital?
No. No, she got a job in Stoke.
- When was this? - Last summer.
Though I feel I should have done more.
I'm sure she knows you did your best.
- Such a sensitive person. - One conceals it, of course.
People languish for years with partners who are clearly from another planet.
Mmm.
We want so much to believe that we've found our other.
Takes courage to recognize the real as opposed to the convenient.
When I was young, I had such a vision of myself.
I dreamt I'd be someone to be reckoned with, you know, in the world.
But one learns one's scale.
- Mmm. - I've such a dread of ending my days alone.
Yes. L—We all do.
But recently I've allowed myself to think that I may not be.
Am I wrong?
No. No. No.
[Horns Honklng]
- Do you want to stay? - [Sobbing]
Sometlmes people find It comfortlng to see them at peace.
Would you llke to come back In 20 mlnutes to say good-bye?
[Sobbing Continues]
[Horns Honklng]
[Sheba] Have you got your seat belt on, darllng?
- [Rlchard] Oh, no. What the fuck? - [Polly] Oh, God! Not her!
- For goodness' sake, shut up. - [Polly] Mum, don't get out of the car.
Is it Portia? Oh, no.
[Ben Speaks, Indlstlnct]
I've got to go back to the vet's after it's done.
- Oh. - Will you come with me? I just can't on my own.
Of course I would. It's just that...
- Ben's doing his play at his school. - Play?
- We're all going. We're a bit late actually. - Hurry up, Mum!
- Someone has died! - L— I know.
- Mum! - And it's t-t-terribly sad.
- You owe me this. - Come on.
Ben, can't you make her vanish? Use your wand or something.
He's doing a show for the first time in his life.
That's your choice, is it?
- [Horn Honks] - [Ben] Mum!
Why don't you come? You'd be very welcome.
I thought you understood what friendship means.
[Chuckles] He's my child. He's my son.
- He's just a little boy. - Don't play the good mother with me.
Excuse me. Could one of you tell me what's golng on?
- Is this some kind of coven? - I can explain perfectly. Would you like me to?
No. It's just that Barbara's had some very bad news about her cat.
My condolences. Poor, poor pussy. Can I have my wife back, please?
- I don't like your tone. - Why is she always here?
What kind of fucking spell has she cast on you?
- [Ben Shoutlng] - Ben is getting really stressed. I think he's gonna blow.
Oh, for God's sake. Get in the bloody car!
Give me a minute, will you? I can handle this!
Oh, I'm to be handled, am I? Llke toxlc waste.
You see me on sufferance. I'm an lmposltlon, to be tolerated.
No. Of course not.
I love our time together. I'm your good, good friend.
- Then stay with me. - [Horn Honks]
I would if I could. I'm desperately sorry about Portia...
- but you can see I have to go. - Think very carefully, madam.
- Be aware of the consequences. - Barbara, please don't make this mean any more than it is.
- Stay with me. - [Horn Honks]
- I don't know what I'll do. - [Polly] Let's go!
- Look, I'll call you. I promise. - [Polly] Come on!
[Barbara Narratlng] They always let you down In the end.
Jennlfer sald I was too Intense.
Meanlng what exactly? That I'm loyal In my frlendshlps?
That I wlll go to the ends of the earth for someone I admlre?
- Shazam! - [Applause]
- [Cheering] - Whoo!
[Doorbell Rlngs]
Not disturbing you, am I?
It's just, uh...
I need to talk to you about Mrs. Hart.
- Sheba. - Ah.
It's a bit delicate. Can I come in?
- Tea? - Oh, lovely. Thanks.
You haven't got a biscuit?
Cheers.
Would you like me to take your hat?
Ah. Been up the Lane.
White Hart Lane. Home of the mighty Spurs.
- Were you victorious? - 3-nil.
Jermain Defoe. Get in there.
My father was a supporter of Charlton Athletic.
Never seemed to give him any pleasure.
Where's the moggy?
She's dead.
Oh, dear.
Oh, my condolences.
Aw.
Oh, is this not a good time?
It's a very good time.
[Llghter Cllcks]
Mrs. Hart.
Yeah.
Um, it's just—
Anything you tell me will be in strictest confidence.
Well, the thing is...
I was wondering if she's, um...
ever mentioned me?
Does she ever mention me?
Let me think.
No, never. Actually, yes.
She mentioned you'd invested in a new shirt. I think it was last term.
Lashed out at Nicole Farhi.
The thing is, over the last few months—well...
ever since I met her really, l— I've—
Brian, are you in love?
I've been a bit bloody obvious, haven't I?
You've been utterly clandestine.
So she mentioned the shirt then?
- You do know she's married? - Yeah, but she's quite flirty...
and you never know with people, do you?
- Indeed you don't. - But...
I wouldn't want to make a move if I'm just gonna get knocked back.
What with staff politics and the head being such a stickler...
- you have to be really careful these days. - It's a minefield.
So, would—
I mean...
do you think you could have a word with her...
and just suss the lie of the land?
You'd like me to ask Mrs. Hart...
if she's inclined to commit adultery with you?
I don't want you to suffer more than is necessary.
No one should.
I couldn't possibly speak for Mrs. Hart, but...
instinct tells me...
you might not be her type.
She's got a type then?
Oh, it's no reflection on your attractiveness.
But my impression is that her preference is for the younger man.
Surprisingly young.
Boys, I'm told.
Naturally, she doesn't dlscuss any of thls wlth me.
But I've been hearing some rather alarming rumors about one in particular.
Playground gossip, staff room whispers and so on.
You mlght know the boy In questlon.
Um...
Steven Connolly.
Year 10?
I think the kettle's boiled.
[Barbara Narratlng] You say the words, and It's done.
- Easy. - [Whispers] Night, darling.
Judas had the grace to hang hlmself.
But only accordlng to Matthew...
the most sentlmental of the Apostles.
Is thls the last nlght ofher old llfe?
I wonder how long my messenger wlll take.
Thank you.
People llke Sheba thlnk they know what It Is to be lonely.
But of the drlp, drlp...
oflong-haul, no-end-ln-slght solltude...
they know nothlng.
What It's llke to construct an entlre weekend around a vlslt to the launderette...
or to be so chronlcally untouched...
that the accldental brush of a bus conductor's hand...
sends a jolt oflonglng...
stralght to your groln.
Of thls...
Sheba and her llke...
- have no clue. - [Beeps]
[Phone Rlngs]
- [Answerlng Machlne Beeps] - [Sheba] Bar, I'm so sorry about today.
It was an lmposslble sltuatlon.
Rlchard's really sorry too.
Poor you.
But— Look, why don't you come for supper?
Actually, I write quite quickly.
It's the thinking that takes an eternity.
Well, you're never satlsfied.
When you're lecturlng, you long for tlme to wrlte...
and when you've got it, you yearn to be back with your students.
- [Sheba] More coffee, anyone? - [Rlchard] I'll have a slug. Thanks.
Barbara?
Uh, no, thank you.
[Loud Knocklng]
[Knocklng Contlnues]
Yes?
- Are you her husband? - What? Whose?
- Don't you dlck wlth me, mlster. - Sorry.
- Don't dick me around. Where is she? - I don't—
Tell her Steven Connolly's mother wants to see her rlght now!
- Excuse me! - Get— - [Mr. Connolly] Maggle!
- Slut! - [Mr. Connolly] Maggle!
Whore! Whore! How could you?
- Maggie! Maggie! - How could you? He's only a child!
A sweet boy! He's a child!
- What the hell Is golng on? - You ask your wife what's going on!
- Ask her! You perverted... bitch! Bitch! - Maggle!
- Come on. Leave it. Come on. - [Shouting] Get off me.
- [Mr. Connolly] Leave them alone. - [Maggle] Bltch!
- Leave them alone, Maggle. - You fucklng—
Leave them alone, eh?
There's nothing for us here.
It happened. Itjust happened.
Thlngs don't— P-People make thlngs happen.
Do you think you're the only one who's ever wanted someone who's young?
Everyone sometime— Everyone thinks ab— But they... deal with it!
[Barbara Narratlng] By the tlme I took my seat In the gods...
the opera was well Into lts final act.
- [Rlchard] You're hls teacher! - And you were mine!
- Oh! - But I'm not justifying!
- I'm not trying to justify it! - You are so full of shit!
- I am just saying— - It's totally different!
- You were 20! - Well, he's 16 in May.
- He's not some innocent. - Of course he's Innocent!
He's fucking 15!
Are you Insane?
If you— If you meant to destroy us, why not do it with an adult?
That's the convention. It's worked for centuries.
It wasn't about us. It—
- W-W-Why? - I j-just wanted him.
Why?
- I don't know! - Well, find out!
[Car Doors Closlng]
[Chattering]
- Sheba? - Yeah.
- And— No. - Connolly. Yes. Yes. Honestly.
[Barbara Narratlng] My gullt Is tempered wlth rellef.
She assumes the boy cracked and told hls mother all.
Who am I to dlsabuse her?
Oh, Brian. Brian.
Brian. Brian, do stop a minute, please.
Today St. George's School is a solemn place.
A source close to the school has Indlcated that another member of staff...
may have known of the relatlonshlp.
Thls, however, Is categorlcally denled by the local authorlty.
I've told you, Headmaster, had I known anything, I would've informed you immediately.
My only loyalty is to the school.
- Brian thinks you've known for months. - Brian "thinks"?
- And then there is Sue Hodge. - Will you be running through the entire staff room?
If you knew and turned a blind eye, you have enabled a crime.
I didn't, so I haven't. Your point?
You're due for retlrement next year. I thlnk It would benefit everyone...
if you take it early, with immediate effect.
So it's a witch hunt. Salem comes to Islington.
The stress of the job, you know. Uh, radical new ideas in teaching not to your taste.
Well, I've got a radical idea. Your school, your disaster. Why don't you resign?
Because I am not the confidante of a criminal!
Now, tell me about your friendship with Mrs. Hart.
I think you'll find that a close friendship between consenting adults is perfectly legal...
even under your regime.
My record here is beyond reproach.
The majority of the staff regard me as a moral guardian.
I've just spoken to an ex-member of our staff.
Another of your close friends.
Jennifer Dodd.
As you are aware, Jennifer became unwell.
That's why she had to leave the school.
- Jennifer threatened you with a restraining order, didn't she? - That's nonsense.
A fax from her solicitor. She didn't want you within 500 yards of her...
- by law! - [Slams Table]
You call that a frlendshlp?
She told me that you sent her fiancé a wreath.
Now, we wouldn't want all this to come out, would we?
A lifetime of— of dedicated service...
ending in shame and humiliation?
It's your cholce, Barbara.
[Chattering]
[People Murmurlng]
[Vomits]
[Grunts]
[Banglng]
[Barbara Narratlng] He knows It was me. Does she know too?
More than I can bear.
Is that why she's not returned my calls?
[Phone Rlngs]
[All Shouting]
[Woman] Mlss Covett!
- [All Shouting] - [Man] Barbara, have you spoken to Sheba Hart yet?
- [Shouting Continues] - [Man #2] When's she comlng out?
[Man #3] Barbara, tell us why you're frlends wlth—
[Woman] Mlss Covett, dld you teach the boy at all?
[All Shouting]
[Man #4] Barbara, how Is Sheba's husband taklng all thls?
Barbarians.
Sorry about your job.
You see, the headmaster thought I knew.
- Did you? - No.
- [Man] When's she comlng out? - [Woman] Come on out, Sheba!
Where is she?
In her lair.
[Polly] Your boyfrlend Is younger than mlne!
- [Sheba] He's not my boyfrlend. - You slept wlth a chlld!
[Sobbing]
Oh, Jesus wept!
The specter at the feast!
- You watch your tongue, madam. - Frigging freak!
Oh. There, there.
[Sighs]
Thanks for coming.
I'm so sorry about school.
Was he—Thank you. Was he awful to you?
Listen. You could say no— l— I'd completely understand—
but Richard—
He needs some time alone.
He's asked me to leave.
Can I come stay with you just for a few days?
You're welcome for as long as you like.
[Reporters Shoutlng]
[Woman] When's she comlng out?
[Man] Are you the chauffeur, Barbara?
- [Woman] When's she comlng out? - Is Ben at school?
[Man] Barbara, don't be shy, love! You gotta come out sometlme!
Does he know what's happening?
It's really none of your business.
[Door Closes]
[Woman] What about the klds?
[Man] How's her husband?
Is he golng to dlvorce her?
[Woman] Come on, Sheba! Make my day!
[Indistinct]
- [All Shoutlng] - [Woman] There she Is!
How's the famlly coplng, Barbara?
[Man] Is he golng to dlvorce her?
- [Woman] What about the klds? - [Man] Come on out, Sheba!
- I've got a mortgage to pay! - I knew who you were when we met.
You were young. L— I knew it might get tough, but I was prepared.
[Woman] When Is she comlng out?
You're a good mother, but at times you've been a fucking lousy wife.
Why didn't you come to me?
You could have told me how lonely you were.
You never trusted me to help you.
I'm not saying I was so fucking fabulous...
but I was here.
[Man] Come on out, Sheba.
Sheba?
[All Shoutlng]
[Man] There she Is! There she Is!
[All Shoutlng]
[Barbara Narratlng] Thls last month has been the most dellclous tlme of my llfe.
Of course, we've had our ups and downs.
The pressure Is Intense when two women share thelr llves.
But, oh, what marvelous Intenslty It Is.
- [All Shouting] - [Man] Look! It's the crone!
Barbara.
[Woman] Barbara! Barbara! Is It true you're a whlte wltch?
- [All Shouting] - Barbara, is Sheba coming out?
[Barbara Narratlng] Clrcumstances are not always Ideal.
- [Tollet Flushes] - The swlnlsh press.
The strlngent ball terms.
Meetlngs wlth lawyers and so on.
But all thlngs consldered, we're coplng admlrably.
In fact, gold stars abundant.
The cuckold...
permlts her to see thelr chlldren once a week.
There are usually tears...
and fits of teenage tantrums too.
In tlme, she'll recognlze she's just not the motherlng klnd.
And then Barbara wlll be there to comfort her.
Nurse, beloved frlend and wlse counsel.
[Object Shatters]
[Man] The crone returneth!
[Woman] Barbara, were you pushed, or dld you jump?
[Man] And If you jumped, was It Into a dlke?
Is Sheba stlll allve? What have you done wlth her?
[Woman] How's the famlly coplng, Barbara?
- [All Shoutlng] - [Woman] Barbara! Barbara!
Sheba?
What you say about me...
about... Richard—
You're not fit to shine his shoes.
And Ben and...
Polly.
That I'd be happier without them?
Why did you do it?
- [Groans] - Because I didn't help you collect your cat?
- Oh! - You've cost me my family!
No! Look! Take some responsibility!
I gave you exactly what you wanted.
- You'd still be stuck in that marriage without me. - What?
- You can't accept it yet, but— - You think I wanted to be here with you?
- You need me. I'm your friend. - You've put me in prison.
- I could get two years. - They'll fly by.
I'll visit you every week. We've so much life to live together.
You think this is a love affair? A relationship?
What? Sticky gold stars and a— and a— and a strand of my hair?
- No. - And a receipt from Pizza Express?
It's a flat in the Archway Road...
and you think you're Virginia frigging Woolf!
And where did you get my hair? Did you pluck it from the bath...
with some special fucking tweezers?
- Don't you know it's rude to read a person's diary? It's private! - We're not companions.
We're not friends. You don't even like me.
That's not true. I only have tender feelings for you, only love!
No! No! [Groans]
You're barking fucking mad. You don't know how to love.
You've never your whole life.
Me. Jennifer Dodd.
You're nothing but waste and disappointment.
You bitter old virgin!
You're lonely for a reason. They loathed you at school— all of them.
I was the idiot who bothered. But only because no one told me you're a fucking vampire!
So what is it, Bar? You want to roll around the floor like lovers?
You want to fuck me, Barbara?
- Please don't diminish our— - Our what?
- What? - No. Give it back.
L— I know you.
Selfish and vain. You think you have a divine right.
- [Grunts] - You don't belong In the world. You belong here! You blg baby!
[Reporters Shoutlng]
Here I am!
[Shouts]
Here I am!
[All Shouting]
[Shouting]
Okay. Get back.
Go back.
[Glass Cllnklng]
We never invited you to the fucking Dordogne.
I'm sorry, but you specifically said if I happened to be in France, I should drop in.
We didn't mean it.
Well, fine.
I won't come then.
I asked you to lunch because I liked you.
I would've been your frlend.
I need more than a friend.
[Horns Honklng]
[Slren Walllng In Dlstance]
[Barbara] I knew her.
Sorry?
I knew her.
- Really? - Mmm.
We taught at the same school.
God. What was she like?
A bit...
chilly.
A touch furtive.
A sort of absent person.
Oh, but I didn't know her well. May I?
Mm-hmm.
- Do you still teach? - No, no.
Retired.
Thank goodness. [Chuckles]
- You've— - Oh. [Laughs]
Here.
Thanks.
[Chlldren Chatterlng In Dlstance]
- I love it here. - Mmm.
[Barbara] It's spectacular at dusk.
I'm Barbara.
Annabel.
I wonder, Annabel.
- Do you like music? - Oh. Yes.
Uh, it's just that I've got tickets...
for Handel's Water Muslc at the Albert Hall.
- Oh. - On Saturday night.
You could bring a friend if there's, uh, someone—
Oh, no. Oh, no. There isn't.
Well, there we are.